Three reasons why LTA’s new system is great!

So LTA announced the next generation of money sucking ERP system will be implemented in 2020. In addition to charging for travelling on congested roads based on the distance you travelled, the new system allows the government to provide drivers with real-time “live” traffic information. They system will also allow for coupon-less street parking.

I think it’s a super cool system. Beyond being fairer in charging for usage of our roads (the ostensible reason the government gave for spending on this system), the system is great in at least these three ways:

1. No need for (that many) summon aunties – increased productivity!

Currently, in order to stop people from getting away with not paying for parking, or parking illegally, we have an entire army of enforcement officers, also known as “summon” aunties (though there are guys doing that job too).

summon auntie

Once in a while, we see whole coffeeshops empty when someone shouts: “Summon aunty lai liao!!!” Drivers will scramble to their illegally parked cars to pretend to drive off. Only to come back after the summon aunty leaves.

Guess what summon aunty? With the new ERP system, you will be out of job! No more need for you anymore! The newfangled ERP system will do your job!

For drivers, now want to “eat” an extra five or fifteen minutes (or park for free) at those open-air HDB carparks that still use the coupon-system now… well… forget it. The newfangled ERP system will know that you are parked and will start sucking away your money automatically. Next up, it’s not difficult to see how the system can be developed to catch all those who are parked illegally at places they aren’t supposed to park – double yellow line, and a car is stopped there for more than five minutes. Newfangled ERP system will be able to detect that and then ka-ching! Fine the bugger! Suck his money! All done automatically. No need summon aunty anymore…

2. Finally reduce the number of cars on the road

No no. It’s not because Singaporeans will be deterred by the thought of having to pay more if they drive longer distances. It’s because the newfangled system can, very possibly, with some tweaks be able to track the speeds of every car at any moment. As GPS becomes more accurate (very soon accurate up to 1cm), and faster sampling rates, this newfangled system could very easily calculate how fast all cars are travelling at any stretch of road in Singapore.

And guess what this can be used for? That’s right! No more need for speed cameras. This newfangled system can automatically and immediately detect when any car is exceeding the speed limit of the road it is on! On AYE, where speed limit is 90km/h at midnight when there aren’t any cars and “accidentally” go at 100km/h? Newfangled system detects automatically and immediately, ka-ching! Fine! Deduct points! Imagine how quickly many drivers will burn through their 24 points and lose their licenses!

So very soon, only the most kiasee of drivers will have their licenses. With so many drivers losing their licenses for “accidentally” speeding, the number of cars on the roads will definitely plummet. And finally, we will dramatically cut down the number of cars on the road!

3. Improve productivity for law enforcement

With the newfangled system, no criminals will ever be able to get away from crime scenes quickly. Imaging this: A robbery. Robber jumps into getaway vehicle. Oops! Wrong move. In the future, the police can just use the newfangled system to trace the movements of the vehicle.

Not only that, with this newfangled system, the government will be able to know where every driver has been at any point in time. With the improvements in Big Data analytics, it won’t be difficult to build a rather comprehensive profile of drivers – the driver’s schedule, what he likes to eat, where he goes to shop, etc. If ever the driver is suspected of a crime, no need to ask, “Where were you at 9pm on Tuesday, dd/mm/yyyy?” Just use the data from the newfangled ERP system – “It says here that your car was driven to xxx at 9pm on Tuesday, dd/mm/yyyy. Can you prove that you weren’t the one who drove the car at that time?”

So the newfangled ERP system will also help to improve law and order in Singapore! Amazing right?!

Great system well worth the money

With those three great benefits, the newfangled system is well worth the $556 million. Fantastic move by the government. Can’t wait for 2020 to come soon. It’ll be the new 1984 in Singapore.


4 thoughts on “Three reasons why LTA’s new system is great!

  1. My conscious self really moans deeply about what a nightmare it is promising to surely turn out to be. Then again, I’m inexplicably drawn to this devious tech and find myself somehow feeling I’m accepting it as inevitable and am even approving of it …

    Must be that masochistic streak I always knew I had in me.

    Liked by 1 person

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